Thursday, March 02, 2006

Sometimes, You Just Have To Laugh...

WARNING - PG-13 POSTING FOLLOWS

I mentioned in a previous post (Weekend Are Way Too Short) that I was moving a little slowly on that particular weekend. I said I'd share more on that in a later post. I've decided to omit sharing any particular details about me moving slow, and to instead use this post to share a little bit of humor...

Here's a little bit...After having their 10th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor told the man that he was to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The man said to the doctor "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a lighted cherry bomb in a can and holding it next to my ear is going to help me." So the couple drove to Missouri to get a second opinion. The doctor was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed they were from Alabama. This doctor also told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it and place it in a tin can, hold it next to his ear and count to 10. Figuring that both doctors couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5..." at which point he paused, placed the can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

Here's some more...A West Virginia man, considering getting a vasectomy, decided to discuss it with his priest. The priest gave him various bits of advice, and suggested that he discuss it with his doctor. The doctor likewise advised him on various aspects, and on discovering that he hadn't talked to his family about it yet, urged him to do so. His family voted 14-4 in favor of it.

More...This guy goes to the doctor for a vasectomy. Unlike the usual patients, he shows up in a limo, and he's sitting in the doctor's office in a rented tuxedo with black tie. The doctor says "I've done a lot of these, but I've never seen a guy show up in a limo and tuxedo before. What's the story?" To which the fellow responds "If I'm gonna BE im-potent, I'm gonna LOOK im-potent!"

Another...Julie went to the doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming. As she ran down the hall, an older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained what was wrong. He had her sit down and relax in another room, then marched back to the new doctor and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Jones is a 35 year old, she has four children, her husband had a vasectomy and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard. "Cured her hiccups though, didn't I?"

And finally, not a joke, but a true story... This guy walked to the front desk at the hospital to register, and he handed a card his doctor had given him to the nurse. The nurse asks him, "are you here to have them crushed"? A bead of sweat runs down the side of his head and he says"pardon me "? Then she says, "Yes, your going to the sixth floor where we crush kidney stones" He laughs and says, " I hope they don't crush anything, I'm here for a vasectomy."

Some closing comments...
  • You have to have a little bit of humor to be a urologist.
  • Drugs are good things.
  • Frozen peas have multiple uses.
  • It's not always a good thing for your small children to jump into your lap.
  • It seems as though everyone has a story for you prior to such a procedure...and most of them are not meant to calm you down.

No...no pictures with this post...

1 comment:

philio said...

wow...I've just got the old STP song in my head...
"cause I'm half the man I used to be...half the man I used to be..."